Dedication to Batch84

A Dedication to USC-GHS Elementary Batch84
Specially to L, N, M, R and C

We remember poking and being poked, hitting and being hit, being bullied, fighting and even causing a broken arm or a broken spirit. We remember the friendly competition in the vegetable garden and the SRA exercises in the library, the games we played and the cards we traded, the poems we made and the pictures we drew, the teachers we hated and the crushes we adored. We reminisce with a smile the years when we were so young, so carefree and media-agua meant something. Who knew that in our young lives, we had so many tribulations at home? We left our troubles behind when we stepped inside the campus walls. How did we make it though the difficult years of our lives? When we could have easily turned out dysfunctional, we had each other. We cheered for each others joys and wept for our sorrows. And when that day came to sing “Farewell To You My Friend”, we braved the cameras with fake smiles while our hearts grieved. We wondered what will happen to us when we go our separate ways. Would our lives ever be the same without our teachers, our enemies, our friends?

25 years of longing and wondering, once again we find ourselves in the midst of each other. Like a bolt out of the sky, we embrace the sweet thought that we never really left and we can’t wait to see you again. I never thought I would have a chance to say this, but THANK YOU RAKENROLERS FOR A BEAUTIFUL CHILDHOOD.

I LOVE YOU! –Anne P

Two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey, they had an argument; and one friend slapped the other in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand “Today my friend slapped me in the face”

They kept on walking until they found an oasis where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning but his friend saved him.

After he recovered from near death, he wrote on a stone: “Today my friend saved my life.”

The friend who had slapped and saved a life; asked his friend, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write in stone. Why?”

The friend replied: “When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand, where the winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

Your hurts in the sand and your benefits in stone. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but an entire life to forget them.

Opt Out...

A friend said, "I'm ready for bigger and better things, short of questions, short of lies, short of games, short of insurance."

I understand the frustrations and I can hear the anguish.
Do not rush, take things slow.
Bigger and better things do not equate
To being short of lies, games or insurance.
In fact you will realize soon enough
That issues will only get bigger, lies get fatter,
And games, you will never be short of them.
As you mature and meet new crowds, friends and co-workers,
Do not forget what I say here.
Be accepting of what is now.
Working through it, easily or not,
Will prepare you for your future life and relationships.
You do not want out.
You just want it easy.
Dreaming should never end.
When you get what you wish for,
You should want more.
If you stop dreaming, what point is there of being?
There are no guarantees, only risks and accomplishments.
Then it starts all over again. It's a vicious circle.
C'est la vie.

Love and Marriage...

10 Years! 10 Beautiful Years!!!

Too often people rush into marriage without a lot of love, trust or endearment. Then there are those who can love forever without seeking to get married. The first will most likely not last for too long while the other will have the taste of each day like it could be the last. I got married after knowing someone for 10 months, and in those months I knew this is someone I can love forever. Opinionated as we both are, I knew that our marriage will not always be peaceful, then again it will never be boring. A clerk in Howard County, MD married us in 1997 and we had our wedding in Cebu in 2001. By making our vows to witness each others' lives, we promised that neither of us will ever be lonely or loveless. A simple description of heaven. Our son, our angel. To seek perfection in marriage is a futile cause since it will only bring disappointment. To accept individuality in a partnership is the key to overcoming challenges. Life without love simply put, is unbearable.

Beauty and the Beholder

I have noticed that the Filipinos who diss Philippines the most are the ones who have never even been around our BEAUTIFUL country. I am one of the lucky few that had a chance to travel around at least 30 major provinces before leaving for the US fifteen years ago. With all my options to vacation to other countries around the world, I still look forward to spending my one month vacation time in our country. Silly it may seem but I always feel that I haven't seen enough of Pilipinas, not even just Cebu which I am already very familiar with. I'd rather go to Panglao(Bohol) than Key West.

When an American friend had a chance to visit Cebu for work, he called me for guidance. My cousins made his short trip so memorable, that he actually called to tell me that the Philippines is one of the most underrated vacation spots. Food is great, lodging is reasonable, sites are beautiful, water is warm, and best of all, HE DOES NOT NEED A TRANSLATOR :) He is planning to take his whole family back to Cebu sometime next year.

Next destination for me would be Tacloban. Thanks for the suggestion Jim. I have been dreading to go back there since it reminds me too many bad memories of the Ormoc landslide which aftermath I had witnessed. This time, I think it will be a fun experience. I have got to see Imelda's Museum.

Other places I want to visit:
Batanes Islands
Burgos, Ilocos Norte

People, Fashion and Politics

Elections. People's Power. EDSA Revolution.

Unfortunately, IMHO, the promise died that same day in 1986. It also paved way to greed and mediocre leadership. It created a mockery of Philippine politics and it extinguished the future of the martial law babies. The same citizens who are flooding the gates to get out of our beautiful country.

I remember thinking back then, it is unfortunate Marcos got old. A dictator by any other name, but, he was the last of his kind. There is not one politician these days that can fill his shoes as far as commanding respect and can hold the same stature as a leader. He created a regime of the Philippine Heart Center, cultural awareness and world presence, technical high schools and the the Marikina shoe industry, major bridges and highways, Green Revolution and a Social Security System that actually worked. Most of which are still in effect up to this day. Over the years when the scale was tipped with graft and corruption, murders and false political imprisonment, all the good was simply or conveniently forgotten. Then it is all about the shoes.

The very people who got the most of being cronies quickly turned sides, handed him over and washed their hands. Marcos is the bad guy and they, the heroes. The whole Edsa situation empowered the people who feel that they can overthrow anyone in office. The result? Corruption happens in record time and in record magnitude. Our politics has become a miasma of manipulators, liars, thieves, kidnappers, and false media. The legitimate leaders and true visionaries are sidelined by the ones who can put on a good show. The politician that can do the best otcho-otcho wins.

I have never been big on blaming others for my misfortunes just like I do not blame Marcos for our country's downfall. The Filipino people as a whole need to stop pointing fingers. We need to take the blame and find it in our hearts how to make our country prosper again, and maybe one day the exodus will be reversed. To start, we need to take elections seriously. It is the single most powerful civil liberty that we take for granted. We need to vote for people who have strong platform and a good vision on where we need to be and know how to get there. Businessmen, lawyers, economists and even teachers have the potential. I have a real problem with boxers and actors who never even finish college running for public office. I have a problem with known criminals and philanderers being on the ballot. If they do not know how to run their own lives, how can we expect them to run our country? If they cannot follow simple moral laws, how can we trust them to implement our constitution? How can we look up to leaders we cannot even respect? How can we respect a leader who is mocked by a gay impersonator on TV regularly? Marcos would never have tolerated such travesty; neither would the late Garcia, Macapagal nor Magsaysay.

But what do I know? It is just one opinion. I believe the Tiger is only sleeping. I hope one day someone will rise in our midst and make us great again. We do not lack the potential. We lack focus and discipline.

Monuments in the Sand...

By princes shall outlive my powerful rhyme.
The monument I build, to men endeared,
Not biting rain, nor raging wind, nor time,
Endlessly flowing through the countless years,
Shall e'er destroy. I shall not wholly die;
The grave shall have of me but what appears;
For me fresh praise shall ever multiply. -Horace

Today, 3.24.07 is the 26th death anniversary of my mother, Niceflora Ortilla Paulin. I was nine when she passed, and my brothers six and four. She didn't leave monuments that would make people remember her long after she is gone.

Mama Flora. She made the best squash leche flan in the world. She would spend a whole Saturday morning cleaning the house so we could go to the beach in the afternoon. She had an amazing flower garden and planted cantaloupe and eggplant in the backyard. She played a mean volleyball and ruled in scrabble. She was as smart as she was beautiful, stunningly beautiful. She was called Gloria Diaz by many. I remember holding on to her tightly because men were whistling at her as we walked by on our way to school.

Mrs. Paulin. She was a teacher. An English teacher who bought me books instead of toys. She was one of the best I was told. The best students almost always came from her class. The school sent her to Diliman to get her Masters Degree. That was where she spent most of her last couple of years. She came home after completing the program to celebrate her 34th birthday only to die a few weeks later. It was also graduation week. At the ceremony, a few her students fainted and it was said that they saw visions of my mother who was honored that day.

Being a parent now, I cannot fathom how I made it without her all these time. I remember going to PTA meetings for my brothers when I was in fourth grade while I attended my own meetings. Other parents felt so sorry for me. But I remember at that time it only felt appropriate. I missed her during those times. I missed her at my graduations, my teenage and college years. I missed her more at my wedding, my pregnancy and my son's birth.

Today I miss her the most. During the mass this evening, I felt a familiar wave of tingly feeling that somehow, she never left. Outside the church, I saw the first daffodils of spring and the first butterflies, her symbol and favorite creatures. At times, I still find myself talking to her, whispering my doubts and troubles like she can help me out of them. In a way, she does. My life's decisions have mostly been based on considering things that would make her proud of me.

I was at a party a few months ago when I met a woman who told me I reminded her of someone the way I looked when I spoke to my son about giving me his best behavior. When she found out my maiden name, tears filled her eyes. She told me she used to be my mother's student. She went on to tell me memories she had of her favorite teacher, her strength, beauty and wisdom. She also told me that she tries to emulate my mother in her life. This blew me away.

I guess I am wrong. My mother built monuments after all among the hundreds of students that she taught in her young life. She built three with me and my brothers. The kind of monument I hope I can one day pass on to my son. I hope I make her proud. Niceflora. Nice Flower.

The Man and his Faith

My lolo, my guardian in Cebu, was a man of faith but he was not religious by any means. He could've told you specific verses of the bible but you couldn't make him kneel in church or go to confession. He believed in God but would only kneel to Him and asked for His forgiveness. No middleman required. He was a man way ahead of his time. He was a modern man of honor, truth and the ultimate sarcasm. He refused to let politics corrupt him.

When he got very old and very sick, people around him tried to get him to say his final confession. I rallied for him since he didn't have the strength anymore. Although their intentions were good, taking advantage of a frail man to do what he does not believe in was for me unacceptable. Though he could no longer speak for himself, the look in his eyes spoke volumes.

When he finally died in 2004 at age 89, hundreds of people came to his wake and funeral. He passed away on April Fool's Day and was buried that Easter Sunday. How fitting for a man of faith and of humor.

Hours later, his grandchildren invited 200 of his family and friends. We threw a party for him. Lots of his favorite music, food and drinks. We made a slide show celebrating the terrific life this man lived. The life that his grandchildren share and very few others understand. One by one his grandchildren and his great-grandchild testified how he has enriched our lives with his own. The life of a man who in the 1930's wrote in his journal, "If you must have religion, don't leave it behind, inside the churches and at the altars of your homes; take it with you wherever you go. Don't just utter or mumble your prayers; live by them. Don't be religious for other people; be religious for yourself. Others may mistake you as irreligious but that does not make you one. Religious appearances are most often fanciful than factual. If you believe in God, don't try to understand Him; pray that He understands you."

Happy Birthday Beloved. You are forever missed.